Saturday, April 18, 2009

Shhh, that's the sound of my heartbreaking.

We're laying in bed this morning and at about 6 (which is actually kind of late by Ryan's standards) Ryan comes in my room over to my side of the bed and says "Mommy, can you turn on your bathroom light?" So I get up and turn it on for him, only to see my door is still open and the hallway is really bright. I walk in the hallway and remember I left the boys' bathroom light on all night so I wouldn't have to wake up so early to turn them on. But I should have known, this is part of his morning routine.
He comes back to the bed, and as also part of his routine, climbs right up into my bed and scoots himself between me and John. Out of habit we both move over and give him his required room in our bed. We all snuggle in together, and since Ryan is awake for the morning now, he's talking. He's laying between us just talking away and occasionally rubbing one of our arms, or putting his hand on our faces, or snuggling in really close. He's just doing all the little snuggly morning Ryan things that we love.
All the sudden it hits me, we won't have mornings like this anymore. Not with just the three of us being lazy and snuggling. Its always been our Mommy-Daddy-Ryan time. Every morning for the past yearish this has been our routine, and today was the last day for it. I know it'll be different, and maybe even a little better when Miss Bella comes, but I'll miss this special time I get with my boy so much.

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