Sunday, February 28, 2010

Sunday Sayings (2/28)

"What a horrible candle-snuffing word. That's like saying, "He can't climb that mountain, he's just a man", or "That's not a diamond, it's just a rock."'
- from Finding Neverland

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Not thinking I like this much

So for the past couple of months I've been having real issues with my period. (Great way to stat a post, huh?) I called my doctor and told him how erratic its been and he told me to come in as soon as I started. I went in at the start of my last one, and my doctor said he wanted to start me on birth control, not as birth control but to help regulate my courses. He said since Bella is almost a year old and hasn't been nursing in a long time that my courses should be back to normal by now. I said ok, because really this crazy period my body's been doing with no rhyme or reason is driving me nuts!
Well, I've been on birth control about 2ish weeks now, and I think I like not knowing when it will hit next better. I started the first Monday during my period (you take it while on your period too), and it lasted 5 days, it went away for two days, and then came back again! He said as long as its old blood its ok, that its just my body's way of getting used to it. But this is just nuts! I'm all emotional and breaking out. This has been the longest period of my life! My doctor said stick it out that after the first 2 months everything should be normal, but I don't know if I can take two months of this!

Yeah, I'm that girl

I'm the type girl that people hate.
I get pregnant by just thinking of my husband the wrong way when I'm fertile. And not a single one of our children were planned. True, when I got pregnant with Bella we'd been talking about trying again in a few years, then about a month later I'm peeing on a home pregnancy test.
I whine and moan and complain about my pregnancies almost the entire time I'm pregnant. I'm sorry I can't be happy-go-lucky over the fact that I'm puking my gutts up all day for over 5 months. Or about the fact that I'm in almost constant pain from having a transverse baby. I seriously doubt that should I ever get pregnant again that that will change.
Now the question is, does that mean I don't appreciate my children or pregnancies anymore than others? Um, no. Does the fact that all I have to do is think the "S" word and I get pregnant mean I don't deserve to be because we didn't have to suffer and struggle to get that way mean I'm undeserving? Heck no.
It means I was blessed.
Generally I try to steer away from posting many of my more outspoken, and probably unwanted, opinions, but this has been bugging me a while now.
I won't claim to understand the pain and frustration of women who have problems with infertility. But I can say that when its people I know I feel sadness and frustration for them. When I became pregnant with Bella I did not expect my best friend to be happy for me seeing as how all of her pregnancies have ended in miscarriages. I didn't expect my cousin who has been struggling with infertility for 5 years to be happy either. Were they as time went on? Yes.
What I can not stand is for people who do have fertility problems to try to make people like me seem like bad, undeserving, ignorant women just because we don't have fertility problems and like a normal human weren't blissfully ecstatic through our whole entire pregnancies. I could say those people should just try harder or relax, but that would be an untrue, uncaring, ignorant blanket statement.
Just something to think about.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

You dirty rotten liar!

My daughter is not 10 months old, nor is she almost 1.
You are all either liars or collectively wrong. I mean there is no way that its been almost a year since her birth. I remember having her like it was yesterday. Plus, what strangers are always telling me, "That baby is much too small to be 1o months old!"

So, as I said in this title, if you say she is 10 months old then you're a dirty rotten liar.

(either that or I'm in very firm denial)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

How can this be scary?

It seems like since Bella was born I've taken a year off of everything.
I took a year off of school, which many many people in my family - husband included, think was a huge mistake. I got a lot of the "Once you leave college you never go back..." type of speeches. I got a lot of smug looks and yeah-right glances each time I insisted, no I AM going back in the fall. But the thing was I just couldn't go back the fall after Bella's birth. I had the whole summer off after her birth, but it was right before I was due to go back to school that we started having health problems with Bella and the long lists of tests and confusions over her growing began. There was just no way I could go back. I would've been missing more school than I was attending. I had already bombed at school the year I was pregnant with her. Between horrible long lasting morning sickness, extra doctor's appointments since I had miscarried a few months before, and then incredible pain with her being transverse I missed a lot of school, and even completing all my work I still got bad grades. I just couldn't afford another semester of bad grades and missing a lot of class. So, with John is agreement at the time, I decided to take the fall semester off with plans to return the spring semester when hopefully we'd have more answers on Bella.
However, due to insurance problems we never got those answers. So by the time it was time to register for spring classes I opted not to again. Again with John saying ok. Which this turned out to be a good thing seeing as how one of my kids has been sick steadily since November. Bella's doctor has ok'd her saying he sees nothing wrong with her if the geneticist finds nothing wrong, but she still gets sick soooo easily. We can't afford childcare, nor can we afford to send her to my mom's since the boy my mom watches also stays sick. I was thinking maybe I wouldn't be able to go back in fall of this year. John and I had been getting into lots of fights over this. He says I'm being "stupid" to put off finishing my degree, and that I need to "get off my butt" and finish or get a job. I understand his frustration because he's waiting on me to finish college so he can go and get his degree is Music Education. But how am I suppose to go back to school let alone work with a baby I can't send to childcare?
I had thought about online classes - how could I not when that's the first thing everyone would mention? But at the stage I am in my degree there were no more online classes my university offered unless I wanted to waste another year on classes I didn't need. One of my friends mentioned an online school she was going to, but I was still unsure since my state doesn't recognize teaching degrees from online schools. Or so I thought.
When I told my friend thanks but no and asked her why she was wasting her time there (she's also getting a teaching degree) she told me she talked to the state's board and apparently this is the only online school they accept teaching degrees from.
So here I am applying to this school and I'm terrified.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Well-Child Check Ups!

So, we went in for Ryan and Bella's well child appointments, his 4 year and her 9 month. The doctor ok'd Ryan to start school in August and informed me that Ryan is in the 75th percentile for both weight and height. I asked him about a cluster of bumps that popped up on Ryan's stomach last month and he said they're a type of wart caused by a virus and that they should just clear up in 6 months to a year. I figured they were warts but because of Zach I'm paranoid about anything resembling a mole on my children.
about Bella's appointment...
the doctor said...
and I quote...
"She's doing really great and I see a huge improvement in both her weight and height!"

She's 15 pounds, which means she put on almost a 1/2 a pound this week alone, and 26 inches long. She's still averaging a little over a pound a month now. And he said as long as the geneticist doesn't say anything popped up in her tests (which we still haven't gotten results on) he doesn't see the need for her to have to go through anymore of them. He was very impressed that she pulls herself to standing and can walk holding things. She can also stand on her own for very brief periods - as in like 5-10 seconds. She can say 4 words (Ana - Hanna, Mama, Dada, and Ni-ni - Night Night). She can wave bye bye, and feed herself. As I said, overall, he was very impressed with the way she's developing both physically and mentally.

Weekday Blog Prompts (2/22)

Hi all! I've decided to post a few blog prompts every Monday to help out some of you who just can't think of anything to post. This first set of prompts are ones you can just fall back; generic type ones.
  • "Monday Is..." What makes a Monday a Monday in your life? Is it the running around sleepy from the weekend type day? Cleaning all day? Or are Mondays just a normal every-other-day type day to you?
  • "Baby Love Letters" Check out the site Baby Love Letters. Use one of their amazing prompts to inspire a blog post. It doesn't have to be to your children like the site says, just use it to get an idea.
  • "A Day in the Life" This can be a day in the life of one of your children, your husband/significant other, yourself, or even your pet. Talk about a normal everyday type day.
  • "Birth Day" Make a post about the birth of your child, or if you don't have one how you think/hope it will be. If you have an adopted child tell us about the day your child came to live with you.
Please leave a response with your blog post here, I'd love to see what you wrote!

Friday, February 19, 2010

I'll teach my son 100 words...

I'll teach my son 100 words, and the first six words I'll teach my boy are "Pick a book!" and "Open it up!" But that's not all my son will do, he'll learn words like "red" and "blue"! And "green" and "black" and "orange" and "brown". And "big" and "little", and "up" and "down". He'll learn the articles "a," "an," and "the." The conjunctions too, "and," "or," "but;" we can't forget about these! He'll learn his numbers. And a few nouns and verbs. He'll learn them all, all these glorious words!
Can you guess what book we've been reading a lot at home. I must say Michael Firth's "I'll Teach My Dog 100 Words" has been a real God-send with teaching Zach to read. The words are short and easy (plus really funny to an almost 6 year old). It has a lot of the site words Zach has learned the past year and a half in school, plus, the words the dog learns, which an almost 6 year old who's got the basics of learning to read down can also learn, are in a different color than the rest of the text so its uber-easy for Zach. We work on a few pages a night, and he counts to see where he matched up with the dog. Its made this whole learning to read adventure so much easier on all of us.

(by the way - we're up to 73)

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Thinking deep thoughts

Do you ever just know you did something stupid you shouldn't have. Like really know, deep in your gutt know. Yeah I'm feeling like that now. I let my temper rule for just a bit, something I try not to do because when I do I do stupid stuff, and now I'm getting that sick in the gutt "you idiot" feeling.
:::big sighs:::

Houston we have glasses

Don't be fooled by the expression he's uber-excited about them. He went in for an optometrist appointment last week and they said he's moderately far-sighted in one eye, and a little more in the other. He's been bouncing off the walls since they said he'd be getting them. The frames are really flexible, and the lenses are the best in scratch proof, both at no extra cost since he's under 8. He has to go in for eye exams every 6 months, but they are free until he is 8. They have ear pieces that hook around his ears so they don't fall off. I was really nervous about him getting them, but I'll just keep my fingers crossed he does well with them.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I hate idiots.

I hate idiots.
Yeah, yeah, I know, its an uber-shocker, but some people just don't come out and say that so I thought I would. I try, really really hard, not to put enough effort into hating any one or thing, for that's just a wast of passion and letting something get way too far under your skin.
But, I'll say it again... I still hate idiots.
Idiots are the following:
  • Texting while driving (got to be the biggest of them all)
  • Parents who randomly park in places in the parent-pick-up line
  • People who flick cigarette butts out their car windows
  • People who keep say hello twice when they answer the phone
  • Drivers who run through the stop sign in front of my house
  • Bad pet owners who leave their loud as heck dogs out all night
Now, I don't think these people are idiots all the time, though Lord help them they might just be, but they are idiots at least part of the time, and when they are, I hate them. Only an idiot would divide their attention in such a carelessly stupid way by texting while driving. Sorry but there are no excuses for that. Parent-pick-up has signs all over the freaking place stop texting and open your freaking eyes and read them. Cigarette butts a.) kill birds and other small animals b.) kill any grass they land on prevent it from re-growing and c.) are litter. 90% of cars have ash trays, if your's doesn't use a mostly empty bottle. Say you call someone, they answer and say hello, you say hello back, they say hello again. Annoying to the nth degree. People not only run the stop sign at the four-way in front of my house, they speed up to run it. This results in loud squealing noises. Also, for all those idiots, that is the main cross for 3 schools, we've had one kid hit this year, let's not make it two. Bad owners, just be warned, I will free your dog from your backyard.
Ok, rant over. Don't care if you don't agree with me. My blog, my opinions.