Thursday, February 25, 2010

Yeah, I'm that girl

I'm the type girl that people hate.
I get pregnant by just thinking of my husband the wrong way when I'm fertile. And not a single one of our children were planned. True, when I got pregnant with Bella we'd been talking about trying again in a few years, then about a month later I'm peeing on a home pregnancy test.
I whine and moan and complain about my pregnancies almost the entire time I'm pregnant. I'm sorry I can't be happy-go-lucky over the fact that I'm puking my gutts up all day for over 5 months. Or about the fact that I'm in almost constant pain from having a transverse baby. I seriously doubt that should I ever get pregnant again that that will change.
Now the question is, does that mean I don't appreciate my children or pregnancies anymore than others? Um, no. Does the fact that all I have to do is think the "S" word and I get pregnant mean I don't deserve to be because we didn't have to suffer and struggle to get that way mean I'm undeserving? Heck no.
It means I was blessed.
Generally I try to steer away from posting many of my more outspoken, and probably unwanted, opinions, but this has been bugging me a while now.
I won't claim to understand the pain and frustration of women who have problems with infertility. But I can say that when its people I know I feel sadness and frustration for them. When I became pregnant with Bella I did not expect my best friend to be happy for me seeing as how all of her pregnancies have ended in miscarriages. I didn't expect my cousin who has been struggling with infertility for 5 years to be happy either. Were they as time went on? Yes.
What I can not stand is for people who do have fertility problems to try to make people like me seem like bad, undeserving, ignorant women just because we don't have fertility problems and like a normal human weren't blissfully ecstatic through our whole entire pregnancies. I could say those people should just try harder or relax, but that would be an untrue, uncaring, ignorant blanket statement.
Just something to think about.

No comments: