A letter to my children (1)

So in the Portfolio Challenges at Sweet Shoppe one of the challenge prompts was to go to Baby Love Letters and use one of the Friday Letters to create a scrap page. Now I know some of you might be thinking, "Wait a minute Trish, wrong blog here." No, I've got the right blog. See the letters are supposed to be to your children. And I liked it so much I'm thinking I might continue doing maybe one or so of these a month. I used Letter 93 as my prompt.

It took so much of myself to pull out what I wanted to tell my children. I really advise all of you to check out the Baby Love Letters and write some out to your children. Its more rewarding than the time it takes to pick one and write it.

Snow, snow go away. Don't come back another day.

So, it started snowing and sleeting Thursday night... and has been ever since. Welcome to global warming. I am utterly disgusted. I don't like cold or wet, and I'm getting both. Bleh. I packed up me and the kiddos Thursday morning so that in case the weatherman was right (which he rarely is mind you) we could be snowed in at my mom's and not at home. Its been miserable the whole time. Zach has been sick for a few days, and we were hoping it wasn't anything serious, but he's now got a runny nose, a hacking cough, fever, and is losing his voice. Well, Thursday night he started screaming and crying because he woke up and his ear was hurting so bad. Poor boy is miserably sick, and on top of that, unlike his brother (and mom...) he loves the snow. He's been asking since last winter when would it snow and its killing him that he can't go out in it. But he seems to be feeling worse, but its not like we can get him out to the doctor's, my van is buried under and around snow and ice on top of a steep steep driveway. To make matters worse Bella has started running a fever. Her nose is also running, with the same hacking cough and wheezy breathing. You can literally feel her chest rattling when she breathes. I'm afraid her bronchitis has returned and maybe that's what Zach has too, but again no way to get out. The weather is calling for the weather to stay the same through Saturday and then freezing temperatures Sunday. :::sigh::: Things ain't looking good, stupid freaking snow.
Ryan briefly enjoying the snow:



The views outside:

A chance to win a free kit!

Go to Shawna Clingerma's blog for a chance to win her new kit!
My Little Scraps>Friday Fix Time

Go Bella!

My Bellarina has been pulling up in bed to stand for a while, but she has now discovered she can do it outside of bed too! Of course the downside is she doesn't know how to stop standing so she stands and screams until you get her, or she flings herself backwards, thus more screaming. She's also extremely mischeiviously mobile. We've taken to calling her Little Miss Chevious, or Max. (Gotta be a fan of Where the Wild Things Are to get it). Anywho... here are some standing pictures!

Bella's hat.

So I decided to try out knitting and made Bella a hat! The pattern, well it sucked. John says it could just be my fault the hat came out nothing like it said it would since it was my first try at knitting, but just in case its not my fault I'll keep the link to myself. Now this took me a MONTH to do, but then I worked on it in fits of starting and stopping and lots of frustration. Logic tells me I should have started smaller, but come on, when have I ever listened to logic?
So here's 1/2 way through:


And here's done knitting. You will notice its an almost completely flat circle. Its not supposed to look like that, it was supposed to be baby hat shaped.


I decided to improvise and thread two pieces of yarn around the part that was supposed to fold up to create a shape and brim to it.



And Bella, who LOVES hats, enjoying her pretty new hat!

My heart's breaking for my boy.

So, Zach came home from school totally heartbroken today. Apparently, during recess Zach's good friend since school last year told him that he's not only not Zach's friend anymore, nobody else is, and nobody likes him, and that he couldn't play with them. I've been trying to convince him that this isn't true, but Zach just doesn't believe me. Obviously, to him, since this mean little boy told him this, it must be true. I never knew kindergarteners could be so hateful to each other. Especially since he's been friends with this boy for almost two years now. Zach was so happy when this boy got transfered to his class because nobody else from his class last year was in his class this year. Now his heart is broken and he truly believes nobody likes him.

What a scary week and a half.

So the last two months were so incredibly hectic. And I know I got a period in December and that it was some time around Christmas, I just could not for the life of me when and silly me forgot to mark when it started. For the past two weeks I've known I was supposed to be starting soon, but was't sure when. By my calculations it should have come no later than Sunday. So yesterday I actually stood looking at pregnancy tests in the store wondering if I should buy one or live in denial. (Denial was looking most excellent to me.) I mean I've been literally freaking out here. I almost even mentioned it to John.
Thankfully, I finally started so all is right (well - not right since being on it sucks...) in my world again.

You just gotta love 4 year olds

So, I'm in my room getting dressed this morning and Ryan is playing in the living. Even during the summer our living room is freezing in the morning so we have a little space heater in there. Its supposed to be one of the safest there is, but I always dread leaving the boys, especially Ryan, alone in there with it on. Well, he was sitting on the floor playing next to it when I went back to my room to get dressed. All of the sudden I hear Ryan yelling from the living room "Mommy, hurry, there's a fire!" So I run out of my room, mostly naked, fearing Ryan has managed to set something on fire with the heater. I get to the living room, and, nothing. He's sitting there watching tv. I ask him where the fire is, what happened. And he looks up at me with this "oh I'm so sweet" smile and says, "I was just kidding."
Let's just say we had a long lecture about not kidding around about fires.

Back from the geneticist!

First off, oh my God... we were there for freaking ever! We arrived at 9:30 and didn't leave until close to three. We had to wait an hour and a half in a room for the doctor. Then she came in asked a few questions, said she'd be right back, and we didn't see her again for almost another hour! First good news, the doctor said (huge shocker coming...) Bella isn't that small. For one, she's finally in the percentage charts! Very low on the charts, 4% for height and head and a very very low 2% for weight. But the doctor said that isn't too much of a worry since I'm only in the 3%. She weighs 12 lbs 15 oz. The doctor said ideally, because of my smallness, Bella should be about 14-15 lbs. Now, the eh news, I got no answers today. They're running a chromosone (sp??) test on her blood, a urine analysis, and an x-ray of her feet and hands to make sure her bones are growing at the right speed. Only... Bella refused to pee the whole entire time we were there, so by the time we left their x-ray technician was gone so we've had to reschedule that and I have to collect her pee sample. Lastly, angry/bad news. I got a huge lecture on Bella's diet, or lack of a proper scheduled diet. Here's a list of all I shouldn't be doing:

• I shouldn't just feed her whenever she seems to want to eat. She's "old enough" to be on a more set eating schedule and I should not deviate from it, nor let her snack whenever she sees someone else eat.
  
• I should not be giving her any table food at all at this point. She shouldn't have any until she's one. She should only be getting stage 2, at highest, baby foods and just a little cereal a day. I should not be mixing the rare baby food she gets or cereal into her bottles.
  
• I should not not not be giving her bread, buiscuits, cookies, and most especially, chocolate.

Whatever, her doctor says its fine, not only fine, but better for babies to get real food (in pureed or semi-solid form) as opposed to jarred baby food. It teaches them to have a better liking of textures and seasonings.
Lastly, this doctor says she's also delayed, I don't think she is, but that's now two doctors who say so. Though she (the geneticist) made it seem hugely more delayed than her regular doctor. But that I'll take with a grain of salt, her doctor actually said she'd had great progress when he saw her for her bronchitis so, neh to her.
So review, I have no patience, Bella has a little, Bella will not pee in a urine bag, we get to do yet another x-ray, we still have NO answers, and I want to punch the geneticist in the face.

Happy Birthday My Sweet Angel!

Today is Mr. Ryan Jacob's birthday! He's 4 years old today and it seems these 4 years flew by so incredibly fast, much faster than Zach's first 4 years. Unlike with Zach I don't remember every little detail. I woke up to contractions, went to the hospital, and held off on getting my epidural as long as I could. Labor with Ryan was so much easier than labor with Zach, plus a whole lot shorter.

Right before I had Ryan:


Some new baby Ryan pics:




First Day Home:


See, while Ryan's labor isn't as clear to me, I do remember being so constantly worried the whole time I was pregnant with him. I had a horrible labor experience with Zach, and I was afraid this one would be like it. Then half way through the pregnancy they discovered the Ryan had an enlarged heart. They couldn't figure out if he was a boy or a girl, but could see his heart is too big. After that I had ultrasounds weekly to make sure the rest of his organs had room and to check his heart. We didn't find out that he was a boy until I was 31 weeks pregnant. I remember we were in the hospital for 4 days after I had him because we both had fevers and he had a ton of x-rays for his chest. I remember having to go back for more chest x-rays at three and six months.
The thing I remember most, and most happily is Zachary meeting Ryan for the first time, and he said "Baby Ryan Jacob" (which he called him for almost his entire first year).

Meeting each other:


And my boy today is so big and rough and daring. No one would ever connect him to being the tiniest baby I had, or who seemed like he would be sickly. Nope, the boys rarely sick, and can wrestle with the best of them, heck he can beat his big brother up easily.


So happy birthday sweet angel! I hope you enjoyed your day!

No, it doesn't make me a bad mom...

it makes me a mom with a rather sore throat.
Zachary is... well he's a handful, and he's got one of the worst tempers I have ever seen. I mean, the boy comes by it honestly. I have a temper (when it gets worked up), John has a huge temper, and my mom has a rather large one too. But Zachary's is just humongous, and gets set off over every little thing.
He didn't take a nap today and was being really ugly to Ryan, getting the poor boy worked up to such a state of agitation that Ryan wanted to go lay down. I tuck Ryan in and decide maybe Zach needs a short nap too. Well, Zach follows me around screaming at the top of his lungs about every single little thing that he feels is just horrible and ruining his day. I get him settled in a room and I can hear him all the way across the house screaming his head off. I let him scream for 5 minutes, then I did the only thing that works for him when he gets to this point, I went in there and screamed back at him. This went on for like five minutes before he slams the door on me and screams "Go away, I'm done looking at you!"
Nice huh?

Happy 2010!

I hope everyone had a most excellent New Year's Eve and are not suffering the consequences of over-indulgence. I did not drink so no hangover here, but I am still recovering from having Ryan up until almost 2 this morning. The boy was like on hyper-active overdrive. Other than that, my New Year's Eve was on the boring side.
So, today is the day everyone starts there big "New Year's Resolutions." As if you need it to be a new year before you can positive changes in your life, those can happen whenever, why put it off by saying "Oh, that can be my resolution!" I see these as things that you are guaranteeing yourself to fail at, seeing as how most people fail or drop their resolutions before January is even over. (I guess you can take it I don't make resolutions lol)
I set myself goals at the beginning of each month and at the start of a new year I either take some off, add some, or stick with the ones I have. I don't have any goals I'm removing from my lists, but I do have some to add.
Here they are:

1. Keep up with the "A Year in the Life" challenge. (Which I really should do seeing as how it was my idea - would look bad if I bailed on it. lol)
2. Create at least 1 new blog post a week. Sounds easy, but as can be easily seen is sometimes really hard for me to do.
3. Really clean my house at least once (preferably twice, and in John's dreams daily) a week.

Now, those aren't resolutions, they're monthly goals, that can be re-evaluated each month if need be, thus, have a higher chance of being completed.