Picture of the Day: "Reasons Why I Love You"

(Picture is from our wedding on March 28, 2006)
Here are 10 reasons why I love my husband (no particular order):
1. You always manage to make me feel special, even when I know I'm being exceedingly ordinary.
2. I've gotten to spend the past 6 years growing up with you, and even though as we've grown we've changed so much you're still you, I'm still me, and we're still us.
3. You are an amazing father, much more than my own was, and a million times more than your's was.
4. You still kiss me and tell me you love me every morning, and then kiss me and tell me you love me when you get home every night.
5. You know how to make me laugh, and how to push my "smile button" better than anyone else.
6. Even though you get up early every morning for work in the morning and to take Zach to school, you let me sleep in as late as I want on Saturdays while you care for the kids.
7. You hardly ever say "I told you so," even though I tend to have this annoying habit of being wrong often.
8. You put my happiness first, even while I'm trying to put your's first.
9. Though I've got some flabby skin in my middle, my tummy is covered in stretch marks, my boobs are down 3 sizes and not perky, you still look at me as if I'm the most beautiful person you've ever seen.
10. You complete me in places that I never knew were incomplete before you came along.

Bye Bye Boobies

Despite my pleas of protest it seems Bella has weaned herself.
In the past two months she has gone from nursing 4-5 times a day along with taking a small formula/cereal bottle, to then nursing twice a day, to nursing only in the mornings, and then, for the past almost week, not wanting to nurse at all. It seemed nursing alone wasn't putting much weight on her so we did the nursing plus bottles under her doctor's recommendation while slowly increasing the amount she eats, and now she doesn't want to nurse and it makes my heart sad.
I loved those mornings of lying in bed and cuddling and nursing. She still wants to lay in bed and cuddle, but I miss the intimacy of nursing. She was doing so well I had such high hopes that I could nurse her to at least 6 months, preferably a year+. I mean I'm glad she was able to nurse longer than Ryan, but it still stinks. This morning she was in a good mood, and I tried to get her to latch on, and the more I tried the angrier she got. I thought, okay well maybe she's just not hungry yet. But as she did get hungry she still wanted nothing to do with it.
My baby has officially said bye bye to the boobies.

Mission: Space Station Spotting

So on September 7th when the Space Station was able to be seen we went over to my mom's (baseball field by my house is not conducive to night sky viewing) and went out back to see if we could spot the space station! We saw it and the boys thought it was sooo incredibly neat. Ryan kept pointing to every plane and star and saying "Ohhh I see it! I see it!" At which point we'd have to explain no, it was a star/plane. Zach got a huge kick out of it, and was the only one in his class the next day who got to stand up and talk about it because he was the only one (who admitted to) saw it. Yes, I annoyed everyone by taking pictures. lol. Here are some:

(Hannah (sister), my mom, Ryan, Zach)








John was annoyed with my picture taking (and the resulting flash) so he took my camera and proceeded to attempt to annoy me by taking my picture.

Have a lot of catching up to do.

Life has just gotten away with me the past week since I made my last post. And I'll try to catch up as quickly as I can but not all in one post. I'll be trying to do 1-2 posts a day to catch you up.
But everything's been going ok. Still haven't heard more on Bella, but we're choosing not to stress over it, we've increased the amount she eats a day and are having much greater success with a spoon. (Pictures to come soon) Zach was out of school almost all week with strep last week, and then when we take him for his follow up we find out Ryan had early stages of it so he got put on an antibiotic. Unfortunately... its giving him the 'rheas. Zach's soooo happy to be going back to school in the morning. I was non-computer for two days last week. Not due to sick kiddos (who actually slept most of the day), but because my computer woke up one morning and decided to hate me. Still have no idea what happened or how it got better.
So, even though all that's been going on, plus another glorious (pfft) period where I had cramps all 5 days plus for 2 days after, its been going well.

Update

So, we got her tummy x-rays in and all looks beautiful wonderful and fine there, no spot this time. Slowly, slowly, God's letting it all be fine. Now we're waiting for the Children's Hospital to call her doctor back to set up an appointment with the geneticist. Her doctor said he'd rather her go there next and then the endocrinologist only if needed.
As for me, I'm better. I'm trying very hard not to stress too much over any of it. John pointed out to me we've actually been through similar circumstances before (with Zach when he was two for something completely different...) and that it all turned out fine then, and that it'll all turn out fine again. So, I'm holding on to that thought. I think either this afternoon, tonight, or tomorrow this blog'll get back to its regularly scheduled programing.

Were you told to come here? (April 09 PR only)

then please go here: OPEN THIS LINK

How things are, and why I haven't posted.

I was doing really good at posting steadily last month, and then, if you noticed, if anyone anywhere is actually reading this, I stopped. Mind you I feel I had a good reason to. Something has come up in my life, and I haven't been able to post about anything else until I post about this development. I haven't posted about it because I'm not sure how I want to approach this. So, what I'll do is just quote what I posted about it somewhere else. Both the original and then update.

So, I took Bella in for her four month checkup. First her stats: 9 lbs 6 oz. and 23 3/4 in.
The doctor started asking me all these questions about her eating habits and sleeping and how she manages with her food. He asked the developmental questions as a sort of afterthought. She's on par everywhere developmentally, however, physically she's so small she's not even in the 1% for healthy babies her age. She's only gained 2 lbs (she lost 1/2 lb she used to be 10) since she was born.
He scheduled for Bella to go in for blood tests and an xray because he's worried about her weight since she eats so much (2 30 min nursings a day plus 3-4 5 oz bottles with either 1 tbsp cereal or 1/2 tbsp and one oz. baby food). He's getting her tested for diabetes, thyroid problems, stomach/intestine problems, and asthma. If those tests come back fine I have to take her to a geneticist to see if she has dwarfism. If that comes back fine I have to take her in to get some bone marrow removed for further testings.
In other words, there's something wrong with my baby but we don't know what.

My heart is breaking.

I took her to the hospital this afternoon for tests and they did the xray first, which was horrible to watch. She looked so uncomfortable laying on that table with the nurses having to hold her down. And then they took her back to the lab to take so many little vials of blood and she screamed and screamed the whole time.

I just don't know what I'm going to do. I won't find out the results until Friday or next Monday. We just need a whole lot of prayers right now. - Sept. 1, 2009

Bella's bloodwork came back fine, but there was a spot in her stomach that looks like a hard spot of calcium, but they aren't positive since the x-ray was focused on her lungs and the spot was on the very bottom of the x-ray. I have to take her in Tuesday for an x-ray of her stomach. Her doctor is also going to set up appointments with an endocrinologist and a geneticist. - Sept. 4, 2009

I haven't been sure how to post about this, because there are people out there who fake about having sick children to get sympathetic readers and tons of followers. And should (which I 'm praying for) the next x-rays and tests show nothing and Miss Bella's just really petite I'm afraid people will say I'm just blowing the whole scenario out of proportion for attention. See the dilemma?
So as I said, I decided to just re-post what I had posted elsewhere about it, and give you a brief inside look on some feelings I've shared with no one.

1. I know God does everything for a reason, but should my baby be sick, why? What possible freaking reason could he have for that?! I've never understood how God lets babies and children get sick and die. Its just not right. And if she isn't sick then why did I have to make her suffer through testing?
   
2. I feel hugely and horribly guilty. Its as big (or bigger) than the fear. Maybe if I had not taken her just to the Health Department doctor before this, maybe, somehow this could have been avoided or caught earlier. Somehow this has to be my fault. She's home all day with me, I care for her, I carried her in me for 9 months, so if something's wrong obviously I must have been the source.
3. Fear. Fear is a very very real thing to me right now. True, its wonderful her bloodwork was great, but the rest of the stuff we're testing for doesn't show up in the bloodwork testing, so we aren't fully out of the woods yet.

As of right now, I just want my baby healthy and prayers, not attention. Someone who would make up a story about a sick baby is beyond twisted, and they make people skeptical of people like me. So all I ask for, and nothing more, is for your prayers.