Curses, Caffeine, Crying, and Pee

Yeah I know, pee doesn't start with "c" but I couldn't find another word for it. So let's go through and explain all these four words which sum up my current existence.
Curses - its that time of the month again. This is my second real period since having Bella. If I hadn't been keeping track I wouldn't have been expecting it. No usual premenstrual symptoms at all. Then BAM I get this huge almost contraction feeling pain after laying Ryan down, I go to the bathroom and guess who's arrived. That evil nasty aunt that nobody likes. Now I'm in a crappy mood and having the cramps from heck.
Caffeine - or better yet, the lack thereof of caffeine. My coffee pot has died. And it had to die at the most inopportune time 10 o'clock at night tonight so that everywhere that sales coffee pots are closed so I get no coffee tomorrow morning unless I go to McDonald's (yuck) or my mom's. Neither of which are appealing to me seeing as how I hate McDonald's coffee and I'm not a morning person, which means when I see my mom in the morning (who is a morning person) we end up fighting.
Crying - yup, Bella's still teething and now has the sore bottom to go along with it. Joy of joys. When she's awake she alternates her time between pooping, crying, and gumming everything to death. (Though on a side note, we're starting to get real chuckles out of her.)
Pee - Ryan has started having several accidents a week at night lately. The boy has gone accident free at night time for a good long while up until about 2 months ago. Then he would have about one a week, this week he has had one almost every night. And not even in his bed. He pees on the hallway floor right in front of the bathroom! (and the light's on and the door is open) All we can think is that it must be a delayed reaction to Bella, but he wasn't like this when I had her, so I don't know why she would cause it now.

So yes, that is the joy and fun that is going on in my life right now. Don't you wish you were me?

Preparing for the first day of kindergarten.

Its not a big deal.

Ok, so it is. I don't care if he went to school last year. No one other than me, Zach, John and some immediate family took the fact that he went to pre-k last year seriously. I mean he was actually at the elementary school Mondays - Fridays 7 - 2:30. He went to school. So I wasn't expecting to feel this overwhelming sense of sadness about his first day of kindergarten. Its sort of like that final snap, my baby is a big boy now. Really and truly.
I was getting all of his school supplies into his backpack, signing and filling out all the forms I got at orientation, and making his luch when this funk hit me. I was sitting there labeling his things and stuffing them in the backpack when I thought "Why didn't I buy him a new backpack? All the others kids are going to have new shiny ones, and his is still dirty from last year. What kind of mom sends her son to his first day of kindergarten with this kind of backpack?" But then I justified it to myself. I spent a lot of money on his backpack last year. I got his initals on it and let him pick it out. We spent a lot of money on that backpack so that it will last him a while and so we won't have to replace it each year. At the same time though I feel like I'm letting him down. I sucked it up and went ahead to making his lunch since he asked to carry it. Again I went through the guilt, because again, it was the same one he used last year. And just a little while ago I was picking out his outfit for his first day and I go in a panic because I remembered he can't wear flip flops to school, they're against dresscode. I wasn't sure if we even had any of Zach's shoes here. I remembered a pair in the van and went out to get them. They were his favorite pair las year and I can only hope they fit, at least fit enough to get him through the day. But they're white and they show all the wear and tear a young boy puts on his shoes.
I know, in my mind I really know, that him having new things isn't important. He has new clothes, and I feel stupid being upset because his backpack, shoes, and lunchbox are old. Its just I want to send him off to his first day looking and feeling his best as possible. I know he could probably care less. But its my first baby's first day of "real" school. I think the guilt about that is just brought on by the fact that I'm sad about him growing up and I'm so worried about how tomorrow will go. He's sooo painfully shy around people at first, especially at school because of his soap allergy. I have a feeling I'll be nervous wreck by the time he leaves in the morning.

Those middle of the night facebook updates.

So, since we have entered the world of teething, 11pm - 2am (roughly) is no longer an acceptable time for sleeping. To Bella it is a time of great mischief and fun, where Mommy dotes on no one but her. Mommy, on the other hand, is slightly bored and extremely tired. So what does Mommy do? Check Facebook of course, and continuously update her status with silly non-sequentials. And the obvious thing is, they all deal with her royal highness Miss Bella. I catch up on the statuses of lots of other moms with babies at that time too. Huh, guess, as one friend put it, all the babies got the party all night memos and the mommies didn't.
Here are some of the midnight Bella statuses:

• "its 1 am on Wednesday, do you know where your daughter is? Mine just so happens to be awake and full of energy."
• "What's that? Oh, Bella's awake in the middle of the night... again."
• "Me to Bella: 'if you punch yourself in the eye it will hurt'"
• "Bella to her feet: "Holy cow! There are TWO of you?!""

Which leads to a new little tid bit. Much to Bella's awe, surprise, and tredipitation she now has a left AND right foot.

Why am I not asleep?

It is a little past 2 am here and here I am, up and at the computer. Have I even been to bed or dozed...? No. I was sitting outside enjoying the storm and reading a book when I realized how late I'd been out there so I came in. My goal was to do a quick check on things then turn off the computer. But alas, what did my little ears hear? Why, the not so little sounds of Miss Bella deciding it was time to eat. (this was about 12:30) Bella has not had a middle of the night feeding in a while. I got her out of bed, changed her bottom, and we talked and played for a bit. Then I made her a bottle with cereal. She drank it, we played some more, and she fell asleep about 20 minutes ago. Here's the problem, now I'm wide awake. I can not afford to be wide awake at 2 in the freaking morning! I have a three year old who wakes up at 5:30 am when his daddy does and expects me to be up and getting him food by the time daddy leaves at 7! True, he'll get in my bed, cuddle Bella and I, and let us snooze, but only until say 8-8:30 and only after he's ate. And I'm not one of those people who can go lay down in bed and will myself to sleep. Oh no no no. That would be much to easy. I have to exhaust myself to sleep. I have a feeling tomorrow will be a very long day...

Picture of the Day: "July 21, 2009"

the boys, July 21, 2009

Ponderings of a Philosophical Nature

All parents wonder what their children will be like when they grow up. They create dreams, hopes, and wishes for their children's futures. Will their child be smart, attractive, popular, and charismatic? Or will their child be unintelligent, ugly, and socially inept? Can a parent even see her own child as ugly? Or as the parent does she always think her child is adorable and cute?
What if, as a child, the parent was, let's say, not the best child or teen? What if the parent was sort of, um, bad? They say parents get what they deserve in their children. I don't know about you, but me, I don't want to raise me. I'd much rather my children not be like me. As of now, I think a rather appropriate choice would be they be like my youngest sister. She's very smart, funny, pretty, and is very popular. But, I have this funny feeling that I don't get to pick who my children grow up to be. I can only hope they grow into someone who I can like and respect. But ultimately I'll be a large molder of who they turn out to be, am I worthy of shaping them? I'm not sure. I've made a lot of bad choices in my life, and a lot of stupid ones too. I mean, I am rather happy with the way I turned out, and I would love for my children to end up how I am now (not necessarily the whole parent of 3 at 22). I just don't want them to follow along all the paths I did to get here.

Picture of the Day: "This is my yucky face"

I've been adding rice cereal to Bella's bottle for about a week now and she loves it. So I decided I would slowly start to see how she does eating solids. I figured she loves her cereal bottles so much, what better to start her with than a small amount of rice cereal.
Well... she hated it. The first two bites were kinda like, hmm, what is this? Then it was, well, I don't think I like this much. It was all down hill from there. She would push the spoon out with her tongue, and the cereal too. She screamed at me each time I got the spoon into her mouth. She just flat out hated it with a vengeance. It was not a fun experiment at all.
But we tried baby applesauce today and she ate almost the whole jar and seemed to think it was the next best thing to the boob.