Picture of the Day: "He was trying to be helpful"

I was doing the multi-tasking bit last last Wednesday night. I was (unsuccessfully) trying to cook dinner, feed Bella, clean the kitchen (I clean the kitchen as I cook so after dinner there's less work to do), do laundry, and help Zach with his homework. Well, I had to stop feeding Bella for a moment because the phone rang and the timer on the oven went off. Now I'm hearing all of this at once:

"Mommy, mommy, mommy!" (Ryan)

(water running in sink)

(washer and dryer running)

Bella screaming

"Its ok sweetie." (Zach to Bella)

and my mom rambling about something in my ear.

I step out of the room so I can try to hear her, get off the phone, turn off the water, shut the laundry room door, and give Ryan a starburst to shut him up, and I notice Bella's not screaming anymore. I look around the doorway into the living room and Zach is feeding Bella her dinner. Only, he's putting so much on the spoon not all of it fits in her mouth and she spits out 1/2 of it that does! I sigh, and think oh well to myself and go back to cleaning and cooking. John comes home a few minutes later and offers to take over dinner and the kitchen, and I take over the feeding of Bella. (But not before I could get some pictures of the mess her and Zach made of her face!)

I Promise You, Its "E" not "I"

I'm having issues with Zach's teacher.

1. I started off the year on the wrong foot with his teacher. At the Kindergarten Parent Orientation I found out one of my best friend's nieces is in Zach's class. Her mom (my friend's sister) was there with her fiance, and she was trying to get him to remember who I am. We were sitting in the crowded class right in front of the teacher when my friend's sister announced to her fiance, "She's the one who went drinking with Katie and I on my birthday, and then threw up in our yard." Yeah, that's not something I want announced to my son's new teacher. I don't drink often, hardly ever, nor would I have drank as much as I did that night, but they kept ordering drinks. Stupid excuse I know, but come on, I'm allowed to act like the typical 21 (at the time) year old every now and then if my kids aren't around. But does Zach's teacher know that? After my friend's sister made that comment I got ugly looks from the teacher (and other parents) often.
2. Also, at the end of Orientation, I went up to Zach's teacher to explain to her about Zach's soap allergy and that he's primarily left handed. Her reaction to the soap allergy was "You're kidding, how can someone actually be allergic to soap?" and she gave me this look like I must be joking. I swallowed what I wanted to say, and told her that I'm also allergic to most soaps, so is my grandmother, and my great-grandmother was too. She then asked if Zach was aware that he's allergic to it. I told her yes, it'd be hard for him not to since it makes the skin on his hands crack and peel and is extremely painful. I also told her Zach has special scissors that are meant to be used with his left hand, but they aren't made for young children, but he knows how to use them and is careful with them, but she said that was fine.
3. About 3 weeks after he started I'm going through his folder and there's a project he had to cut and paste for. I'm looking at it and he did a horrible job, and I'm noticing his handwriting is much worse than usual. I sit him down and asked why he's doing so messily on his work. (He takes a lot of pride in making his school work look nice.) He said his teacher said he can't use his scissors and that he needs to use his right hand because his left hand gets too dirty when he writes and colors with it. I sent his teacher a note reminding her that Zach is left handed, and if his hand gets too messy for him he can clean it with a wipes or rinse it off. The next day and he comes home with green paint all over his hands. I ask him why and he says they made hand prints. I asked why he didn't clean off his hands, and he said he couldn't because he can't use soap. I asked him why he didn't just rinse it off with water, and again he said his teacher said he couldn't.
4. Zach had strep last week, but went to school Monday because he didn't have a fever yet and we didn't know he was sick. I pick him up Monday afternoon and he's miserable. He's coughing a lot, and they just sounded painful. His eyes were all glossy and he was soooo hot to the touch. I take his fever and it's almost 102! I asked if he told his teacher he felt bad, and he said yes, she told him to just put his head on his desk. Then when we discover its strep and that he'll be out the whole rest of the week I email her (the way she told us to contact her) to tell her what's going on with Zach and to ask her if she could send Zach's work he'll miss to the office so I can get it and to please email me back so I know when I can go get his work. It gets to Friday with no word from her. While my phone is off while we're at the doctor's his school's secretary calls and leaves a message asking where Zach is. I call back and tell her he's had strep and will be back Monday. While I have her on the phone I ask if his work is in the office and she said no, but she'll contact his teacher and call me when his work arrives. His teacher didn't send his work there until dismissal on Friday so we only had 2 1/2 days to make up a week's worth of work.
5. Now, the final straw. Yesterday I'm going through Zach's folder and everyday they have a sheet where they have to write their name 10 times. Yesterday's had his first and last name, but instead of putting the "en" that our last name ends with he put "in" on the whole sheet, and on every other sheet he had to write his name on. I'm sitting there confused because Zach knows how to spell his whole name, and has since last year. I ask him why he spelled his last name wrong all day and he told me he wrote his name on the first line and the teacher checked it and told him it was wrong and erased his last name and spelled it out to him to write, and sure enough you could see where he had written it correctly and it had been erased. She told him that "in" was the correct way to spell it. Um, hello? Maybe this would be okay if it was still close to the first day of school, but he's been in school almost 2 months now and all of his paperwork has his last name spelled "en."

I don't know what to do. John is furious with his teacher. In his opinion enough is enough. Even if she thinks poorly of me because of the drinking remark that's still no reason to completely disregard anything we try to tell her. He wrote her a note this morning (not that I got to read it) about everything she's been doing, and he told me if she continues this way after getting the note he's switching Zach out of her class. I told him I don't want to do that. While Zach might not like her a lot, he has to learn you won't always like your teacher, but you still have to do as they tell you, and just try to make the best of it. I told John if she keeps it up I will call his teacher from last year and ask her to speak to his new teacher.
But honestly, I'm getting really frustrated with his teacher, and I too would like to pull him out of her class, but I just don't think that would be sending the right message to Zach.

Well, SOMEBODY'S Ducks Ain't in a Row.

Go ahead, ask me how I spent a nice large chunk of my day.
Well, how nice of you to ask. I spent a nice chunk of my day going back and forth arguing with the records keeper at Zach's school and the records keepers at the Health Department. See to start the whole mess off, our doctor does not give immunizations, so I had to take the boys to the Health Department for their's when they were little. By the time Zach was finishing all his before 5 years ones, and Ryan was on like the second round of shots I decided that my children would not be getting further immunizations. People had started saying they led to Autism, and since boys have a higher chance of becoming Autistic I decided that wasn't something I wanted to chance. Zach was able to register for school last year without the 5 year old round of shots because he wouldn't be turning 5 until the school year was over, at which point I promptly forgot about shots.
Well, the school called me at the end of August to inform me that Zach needed to get a physical and his last set of shots. I informed them ok to the physical, but he's not getting that last shot. They then told me, Tipton County does not allow students to attend who do not have their immunizations and do not have religious or medical documentation for not having them. I figured what the hay, its not worth it, and talk has gone down a lot about the immunization/Autism link. Zach got his physical and while we were there his doctor said he wanted to see Bella next week, not in October like planned. I made Zach an appointment at the Health Dept. for his shots for the next week too. Bella's appointment came first, and after that I didn't give a flying fig about some shots I didn't want him to have anyway.
Well, Zach's schooled called yesterday saying if Zach's immunization is not brought up to date by October 1st he will not be able to return to school. The lady was getting very angry at me, as if I somehow tricked them into letting him attend without the physical and shot records being up to date. And for the first time (from this lady) I hear this gosh awful phrase, "Well, sweetie, we just need to get all our ducks in a row." (hear that with a thick Southern accent)
So I try for two freaking hours this morning to reach the Health Department, finally do, and actually get to talking to the appointment lady, and do you know what she tells me? "Our records show that Zachary has already gotten the full amounts of each immunization." Um, hold the phone, noooo he hasn't. I give her Zach's social and ask her to check to make sure she has the right one, because I know for a fact I never took him for 5 year old shots. She says yes she does and for medical reasons Zach got them with other shots or something. She tells me to call the school back and talk to them. Call the school back talk to the lady I did the day before, and hear the duck phrase twice more. She says he needs DPT and polio. Call Health Department again, they say no he doesn't. Do this twice more, with duck phrase during both other calls. By the time I hang up the phone saying screw it, he'll go in for me and the nurse to look over his chart and she can then talk to the school or just re-give him these shots, and start Ryan's back up so he can go to school next year. And I'm thinking the school can get all the freaking ducks, cows, sheep, goats, pig, and whatever the heck they want in a row, but my records are freaking correct and they need to just get the heck over it.

Picture of the Day: "Reasons Why I Love You"

(Picture is from our wedding on March 28, 2006)
Here are 10 reasons why I love my husband (no particular order):
1. You always manage to make me feel special, even when I know I'm being exceedingly ordinary.
2. I've gotten to spend the past 6 years growing up with you, and even though as we've grown we've changed so much you're still you, I'm still me, and we're still us.
3. You are an amazing father, much more than my own was, and a million times more than your's was.
4. You still kiss me and tell me you love me every morning, and then kiss me and tell me you love me when you get home every night.
5. You know how to make me laugh, and how to push my "smile button" better than anyone else.
6. Even though you get up early every morning for work in the morning and to take Zach to school, you let me sleep in as late as I want on Saturdays while you care for the kids.
7. You hardly ever say "I told you so," even though I tend to have this annoying habit of being wrong often.
8. You put my happiness first, even while I'm trying to put your's first.
9. Though I've got some flabby skin in my middle, my tummy is covered in stretch marks, my boobs are down 3 sizes and not perky, you still look at me as if I'm the most beautiful person you've ever seen.
10. You complete me in places that I never knew were incomplete before you came along.

Bye Bye Boobies

Despite my pleas of protest it seems Bella has weaned herself.
In the past two months she has gone from nursing 4-5 times a day along with taking a small formula/cereal bottle, to then nursing twice a day, to nursing only in the mornings, and then, for the past almost week, not wanting to nurse at all. It seemed nursing alone wasn't putting much weight on her so we did the nursing plus bottles under her doctor's recommendation while slowly increasing the amount she eats, and now she doesn't want to nurse and it makes my heart sad.
I loved those mornings of lying in bed and cuddling and nursing. She still wants to lay in bed and cuddle, but I miss the intimacy of nursing. She was doing so well I had such high hopes that I could nurse her to at least 6 months, preferably a year+. I mean I'm glad she was able to nurse longer than Ryan, but it still stinks. This morning she was in a good mood, and I tried to get her to latch on, and the more I tried the angrier she got. I thought, okay well maybe she's just not hungry yet. But as she did get hungry she still wanted nothing to do with it.
My baby has officially said bye bye to the boobies.

Mission: Space Station Spotting

So on September 7th when the Space Station was able to be seen we went over to my mom's (baseball field by my house is not conducive to night sky viewing) and went out back to see if we could spot the space station! We saw it and the boys thought it was sooo incredibly neat. Ryan kept pointing to every plane and star and saying "Ohhh I see it! I see it!" At which point we'd have to explain no, it was a star/plane. Zach got a huge kick out of it, and was the only one in his class the next day who got to stand up and talk about it because he was the only one (who admitted to) saw it. Yes, I annoyed everyone by taking pictures. lol. Here are some:

(Hannah (sister), my mom, Ryan, Zach)








John was annoyed with my picture taking (and the resulting flash) so he took my camera and proceeded to attempt to annoy me by taking my picture.

Have a lot of catching up to do.

Life has just gotten away with me the past week since I made my last post. And I'll try to catch up as quickly as I can but not all in one post. I'll be trying to do 1-2 posts a day to catch you up.
But everything's been going ok. Still haven't heard more on Bella, but we're choosing not to stress over it, we've increased the amount she eats a day and are having much greater success with a spoon. (Pictures to come soon) Zach was out of school almost all week with strep last week, and then when we take him for his follow up we find out Ryan had early stages of it so he got put on an antibiotic. Unfortunately... its giving him the 'rheas. Zach's soooo happy to be going back to school in the morning. I was non-computer for two days last week. Not due to sick kiddos (who actually slept most of the day), but because my computer woke up one morning and decided to hate me. Still have no idea what happened or how it got better.
So, even though all that's been going on, plus another glorious (pfft) period where I had cramps all 5 days plus for 2 days after, its been going well.

Update

So, we got her tummy x-rays in and all looks beautiful wonderful and fine there, no spot this time. Slowly, slowly, God's letting it all be fine. Now we're waiting for the Children's Hospital to call her doctor back to set up an appointment with the geneticist. Her doctor said he'd rather her go there next and then the endocrinologist only if needed.
As for me, I'm better. I'm trying very hard not to stress too much over any of it. John pointed out to me we've actually been through similar circumstances before (with Zach when he was two for something completely different...) and that it all turned out fine then, and that it'll all turn out fine again. So, I'm holding on to that thought. I think either this afternoon, tonight, or tomorrow this blog'll get back to its regularly scheduled programing.

Were you told to come here? (April 09 PR only)

then please go here: OPEN THIS LINK

How things are, and why I haven't posted.

I was doing really good at posting steadily last month, and then, if you noticed, if anyone anywhere is actually reading this, I stopped. Mind you I feel I had a good reason to. Something has come up in my life, and I haven't been able to post about anything else until I post about this development. I haven't posted about it because I'm not sure how I want to approach this. So, what I'll do is just quote what I posted about it somewhere else. Both the original and then update.

So, I took Bella in for her four month checkup. First her stats: 9 lbs 6 oz. and 23 3/4 in.
The doctor started asking me all these questions about her eating habits and sleeping and how she manages with her food. He asked the developmental questions as a sort of afterthought. She's on par everywhere developmentally, however, physically she's so small she's not even in the 1% for healthy babies her age. She's only gained 2 lbs (she lost 1/2 lb she used to be 10) since she was born.
He scheduled for Bella to go in for blood tests and an xray because he's worried about her weight since she eats so much (2 30 min nursings a day plus 3-4 5 oz bottles with either 1 tbsp cereal or 1/2 tbsp and one oz. baby food). He's getting her tested for diabetes, thyroid problems, stomach/intestine problems, and asthma. If those tests come back fine I have to take her to a geneticist to see if she has dwarfism. If that comes back fine I have to take her in to get some bone marrow removed for further testings.
In other words, there's something wrong with my baby but we don't know what.

My heart is breaking.

I took her to the hospital this afternoon for tests and they did the xray first, which was horrible to watch. She looked so uncomfortable laying on that table with the nurses having to hold her down. And then they took her back to the lab to take so many little vials of blood and she screamed and screamed the whole time.

I just don't know what I'm going to do. I won't find out the results until Friday or next Monday. We just need a whole lot of prayers right now. - Sept. 1, 2009

Bella's bloodwork came back fine, but there was a spot in her stomach that looks like a hard spot of calcium, but they aren't positive since the x-ray was focused on her lungs and the spot was on the very bottom of the x-ray. I have to take her in Tuesday for an x-ray of her stomach. Her doctor is also going to set up appointments with an endocrinologist and a geneticist. - Sept. 4, 2009

I haven't been sure how to post about this, because there are people out there who fake about having sick children to get sympathetic readers and tons of followers. And should (which I 'm praying for) the next x-rays and tests show nothing and Miss Bella's just really petite I'm afraid people will say I'm just blowing the whole scenario out of proportion for attention. See the dilemma?
So as I said, I decided to just re-post what I had posted elsewhere about it, and give you a brief inside look on some feelings I've shared with no one.

1. I know God does everything for a reason, but should my baby be sick, why? What possible freaking reason could he have for that?! I've never understood how God lets babies and children get sick and die. Its just not right. And if she isn't sick then why did I have to make her suffer through testing?
   
2. I feel hugely and horribly guilty. Its as big (or bigger) than the fear. Maybe if I had not taken her just to the Health Department doctor before this, maybe, somehow this could have been avoided or caught earlier. Somehow this has to be my fault. She's home all day with me, I care for her, I carried her in me for 9 months, so if something's wrong obviously I must have been the source.
3. Fear. Fear is a very very real thing to me right now. True, its wonderful her bloodwork was great, but the rest of the stuff we're testing for doesn't show up in the bloodwork testing, so we aren't fully out of the woods yet.

As of right now, I just want my baby healthy and prayers, not attention. Someone who would make up a story about a sick baby is beyond twisted, and they make people skeptical of people like me. So all I ask for, and nothing more, is for your prayers.