Saturday Snapshots (1/29)

I’m not sure if the bottle she insisted on having today cancels out the big girlness of sitting at the table to eat in a booster seat for the first time or not.

I hate snow days.

I hate the ones where all the snow is cleared up by like 9, there was no ice on the roads, and school doesn’t even open late – just stays closed all day. What. The. Hell. I never got this many freaking snow days off when I was the boys’ age. Top it all off – every child in my house is being a brat. Yes, you heard me right, a brat. I have no hesitation in calling my children brats or any other names that applies when they act like one. Yes, I always love them, no, I don’t always particularly enjoy them. Being stuck inside, not from snow and cold but because of vast amounts of mud, on a school day that isn’t a school day with them, and having to lay down John’s law of “You will not leave your room except to eat and go to the bathroom until your room is clean” epically blows. As a result I have a huge mother of all evil headache, an extra cranky toddler (thanks boys for not letting her sleep), and two whiney bratty boys who are fighting in their room. And nope – I’m not going to go in there and break it up either.

Stupid snow days.

A battle of wills that I know I can’t win.

I command you to ignore any cuteness.

Now, did you hear those “Nnnnnno!”s?  Oh. Em. Gee. I hear that ALL day about everything. Every blessed little thing. And if you argue with her no, she starts screaming, and hitting, and head butting, and slapping.

The Pudding Pie spend a lot of time in time out at the moment.

The blog post entitled “I am awesome.”

A little over a year ago I picked up knitting, and then a few months ago I picked up crocheting. (around November) John thought both were highly amusing, making me seem little-old-ladyish, and he gave me a month, on both, before saying I’d quit.

Ha! In case you didn’t know, I love to prove John wrong about stuff. lol Nothing he could have said would’ve pushed me to keep at it more than that. Even when I’d be frustrated and cussing vehemently inside my head and swearing to snap all my hooks and needles in half, I’d never admit it to him. He’d look over at me, smirk, and ask “Having problems baby?” To which I just smile, and say “Nope, all good.” So I can’t wait for him to come home tonight. “Why?” you ask.

Because I freaking designed that hat.

Yeah, you heard read that right, me. Me, me, me. And I did it by myself. I didn’t go to any of the knitting/crocheting support boards and ask how should I do this, this, or this. I sat down and spent 4 days working on that, starting over several, several times. Making a ton of mistakes before getting it right. Me.

Now, I will admit, the heart is from a pattern (and was much easier to make than I thought it would be… here’s the pattern if you want to try), but the hat, that’s all me. And I’m so proud of myself that if it wasn’t raining and I wasn’t afraid of heights I’d climb on to my roof and wave the hat around and yell about it.

Also, don’t get me wrong or anything. John fully supports me in my hobbies and encourages me to use any creative outlet that I can (and that he can afford). He just really thinks this is a funny hobby to have. This coming from the guy who plays golf and the freaking cello… for fun. (Plus any other musical instrument he gets it into his head to learn)

Oh…. and I need to admit one more thing about the hat. I messed up. lol Yup. Not like a big mess up, I know how to fix it and everything. But I was planning for this hat to fit a 19-20 inch head and it is really snug and just a touch short on Belly and her head is 18.5 inches. But oh well, John doesn’t have to know that. lol Cause, like I said it’s an easy fix.

Me too Travis, me too…

Saturday Snapshots (1/22)

(I’m working on some of my own photo editing actions lol)

Penises and Fecal Matter

Yeah, you read that right. The title of this blog post really, and truly, is “Penises and Fecal Matter.” And if you say you didn’t laugh or have to re-read it after you read it you’re a liar-liar-pants-on-fire.

I’ve seriously been thinking how I would do this post for a while. I mean really, how do you address the subject of penises and fecal matter?!
lol

I am definitely a mom of boys.

Since about October Ryan’s new favorite word has been penis. He likes to say it in this silly quiet high pitched voice and then giggles for about 5 minutes after saying it. When he starts it’s impossible to get him to stop, and he bursts out with it at the most random times. See, in October I signed a consent form for him to go to a program at school about inappropriate touching. There’s one for K-4, one for kindergarten, and one for fifth graders. They’re all different and go over the subject matter in age appropriate ways. Zach went to it in K-4 and kindergarten and he NEVER had this reaction. One of the things they go over in the K-4 program is that it’s important to call your privates by their right names in case you need to go to a teacher or some adult other than your parent and tell them someone has touched you in an inappropriate place because not all adults know the nicknames (for lack of a better word) other adults teach their children for the names of privates. Such as we always called penises “units.” Since learning the word penis Ryan has become obsessed with saying it. lol

Now… fecal matter, which as you should know, means ((whispering)) poop. This is Zach’s words. My seventeen year old brother taught him about fecal matter. Why? Because he’s a seventeen year old boy and he thought it would be a funny thing to teach a six-year old to say. This is probably something I shouldn’t admit to, but one of our favorite games is to see who can come up with the most ridiculous thing to call the other. (Yes, basically it’s name calling and insulting – but get over it, they’re my kids and we do it as a joke, something to make us laugh. My mom did it with us also and none of us turned out as jerks or bullies) Zach thinks the funnies thing to call anyone is something with fecal matter, for example “fecal matter head,” “fecal matter hair,” “fecal matter eater,” “you lick fecal matter;” I’m sure you get the point. He also likes to go up to people and ask/say “Do you know what fecal matter is? I do. It’s poop.”  

So yes, this is my post about penises and fecal matter. I do so hope you enjoyed it.

Sleep. Blessed, wonderful sleep.

Oh man. I thought my days of being up most of the night were long over, but Belly has had other ideas about sleep.

See, since Sunday Belly has been waking up sometime between midnight and 2 every single night crying and screaming. Not like nightmare/terrors or anything. More like she’s awake and wants out of bed. She wouldn’t settle back down so she’s been being put in bed with us after she wakes. My daughter is no fun to sleep with at this point. She stays up, wants to play, talk, wake us up if we fall asleep. Sleep has been a rare commodity for John and I lately.

We have two theories on why she’s doing this.

a. She’s still angry about the failed attempt at switching her crib into a toddler bed. At first she was excited about it. She helped me switch the crib and make up her bed. I let her pick out which babies were going on her bed. We practiced climbing on and off of it. We snuggled and read books. We talked about what a big girl she was. Then, bedtime, epic fail. A rough few days was to be expected, but John gave it up after an hour and said we’d try again when she’s older. John thinks this is the reason she’s not sleeping since she’s been a terror to put to bed since we attempted the switch.

b. (My theory) Belly has been refusing to eat dinner no matter what I give her to eat. She’ll either throw all her food on the floor, give it to the dog, or just sit there ignoring it. So I think she’s waking up hungry.

I had a plan last night that if she woke up I’d give her a bottle with some milk, yogurt, and small amount of cream of wheat in it to have in her bed. I figured (along with my mom) that she’d lay there and drink her bottle then probably go right back to sleep, thus proving me right and John wrong. I was kind of looking forward to this.

But she slept all night.

Honestly though, I’m more happy to have gotten a full night of uninterrupted sleep than being proved right. lol

On the lighter side of life.

"Hey, Mommy?"
"Hey Ryan."

"I was sitting her thinking..."
"You're supposed to be sitting there eating."

"I am. But I was thinking, I can't remember, what does pee look like?"
"Uh... liquidy and kinda yellowish? Why???"

(Ryan giggles)
"No Mommy! Like p is for pig!"

lmao - I love having Ryan home.

What a week.

This pretty much sums up last week and where I’ve been:

John got into a wreck Wednesday on his way into work that morning.

Some idiot decided to run a stop sign and John t-boned him going 50 mph. Him calling me telling me he’d been in a wreck wasn’t too big a deal. He made it sound like it wasn’t too bad, just asked me to call my step-father and ask him to come pick him up. My step-father calling me 30ish minutes later was a lot scarier when he told me John was hurt and was refusing to go to the hospital in the ambulance. He tried to pass it off as nothing too big a deal, but paramedics don’t just suggest for no reason that you come to the hospital with them. So I met John and my step-father at the shop they work at and John didn’t look bad at all, just noticeably hurting. John being close to tears on the drive to the hospital and going over all these worst case scenarios was terrifying. Sitting and waiting alone while he had all these tests done was terrifying. Waiting for the results, terrifying.

Hearing he was lucky to come out of a crash that bad (in which his airbags never opened) with only a chest contusion, a banged up knee, and some dental problems – beyond thankful. That was one of the scariest days of my life.

Ryan is not allowed to be sick ever again.

That is once he gets over being sick right now.

He’s miserable and I feel so bad for him.
He’s being bratty and I just want to bang my head on any handy hard object.

Seriously, I can’t stand it. I love my boy. A whole whole ton. But he is the most obnoxious pitiful sick child ever since he hardly ever gets sick. It’s like his brain is not programmed with how to be or sick. I was running myself thin trying to make him feel better, keep him occupied, keep an eye on Belly, AND keep her occupied away from her “Eye-in.” Her Eye-in wasn’t helping with that at all. Every time I even stepped out of the room I would hear “Hey Bellarina, come here!”

((le sigh))

Upswing of the day, Zach spent a good while today helping me with Ryan (moment for you all to do shocked gasp) by reading “Green Eggs and Ham” to him with almost no help at all. When John got home I turned Ryan and Belly over to him and got Zach to read it again so I could…

Take a video!!

Snow Day

Snow.

Yuck.

lol

We got snow last night. Not much, but then it doesn't take much to send where I live in a tizzy of panic over the thought of ice and snow storms, not that we get them often mind you. lol But nonetheless, school was canceled today (tomorrow too). This did not make Ryan happy at all today's his birthday and it was supposed to be his special day at school and the stupid snow had to go and ruin it all. How rude. He got over it quickly enough though. Because hell, day ruin-er or not, it's snow, and he's five. lol Zach of course was ecstatic. The weirdo loves snow. Ryan does for only 5, maybe 10, minutes. This was the first time Belly has been big enough to go out and play in the snow. At first she was just as excited as the boys. She was laughing and chatting about it until she first stepped in it - then she wasn't too sure about it at all. But as she watched the boys play in it she got more into the spirit of it. She picked some up, tried to show it, stamped her feet in it, giggled, clapped, had all around fun for like three minutes - then slipped and landed face first in it. But it was ok, she came up laughing. A few minutes later when she did it again, she was not too happy with it. The third time she went down she started screaming and kept the screaming up until she got in the house and de-snowed. When the boys went back out about an hour later she was more than happy to stand at the back door and laugh at them and yell at them through the door. 
 

Begin the New Year in the way you wish to continue.

Yeah… I heard that a lot growing up. My parents were never especially superstitious about anything except how New Year’s eve goes. New Year’s eve into the end of that first week is very important, it sets the precedent on how your year will go. So if this is true my year will…

1. Have lots of injured and angry kids… and Ryan will be silly. (Dec. 31)

2. Zach will become a morning person… Ryan will become a non-morning person. (Jan. 1 – too early in the a.m.)

3. I will make lots of stupid mistakes in my knitting and crocheting, like accidentally adding 2 inches worth of stitches without knowing it. And John will play way too many games of Black Ops. (Jan. 2)

4. There will be a lot of farting… but also a rise in tooth care. (Jan. 3)

5. Zach will try to run away a lot, and Belly will annoy her brothers to no end. (Jan. 4)

6. Belly and I will play lots of dress up… and Belly will also become a nudist. (Jan. 5)

7. Bella will do a lot of stealing from her brothers… we might even have to use the excuse that their sister stole their homework at some point. (Jan. 6)

8. And I will read entirely too much. (Jan. 7 – my birthday & my present from John)

Ring, ring

*bzzzzzz*hear Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl”*bzzzzzzz*

“Uh, hello?”

“Yes, may I speak to Trish please?”

“This is she.”

“Trish, as in Trish of the blog “My Life with Two Blues and a Pink?”

“Uhhhh… yeah. Who is this? What do you want?”

“Hi Trish, I’m your blog, and I’ve been pretty concerned with your lack of posting lately.”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry about that, things have just been, well, hectic.”

“I understand that, but you still haven’t even done a post about New Year’s. You took pictures – I know, your external hard drive told the Windows Live Writer on your computer, and it told me. Why haven’t you posted them yet? They’re ready on your EHD, so why haven’t you posted them? Do you just not like me anymore?”

“No! No no no. It’s nothing like that I just – “

“NO! No excuses. Today is January FIFTH, you have had plenty of time to get on here and post!”

“I know, I know! Gosh, I’m sorry! But come on – “

“No! Just shut up and get on there and post.”

“Look, I’m just trying to explain. I’ve been busy, you know, living, enjoying my family, what I post on you ABOUT, as in if I didn’t do it then I’d have NOTHING TO WRITE.”

“Trish, shut up. I don’t want your half-butt excuses. Get on here and do a proper post tomorrow. If you don’t, I’ll sic the little green men on you.”

“Yes, ma’am, but – “

“No, shut up and post.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Good. Now have a nice day now sweetie! Hope to hear from you real soon.”

Hang up cell phone and mutter to myself “Stupid psycho blog.”